We are within a week of the return of my husband from deployment. Wow! The time is almost here. How exciting. But surprisingly I find myself tempered in my excitement. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Is it that I won’t believe it until I can actually see him with my eyes or hold in my arms? Or maybe it’s that I have become so accustom to the new normal that I am cautiously optimistic of what the transition back to life before the deployment will be like. Well there it is….Transition….Change. It is something we all have to endure from time to time, but it is the one constant in the military. So, maybe I should be better at this. Well, maybe I am good at it and I am just not giving myself the credit that there will still be a mental shift.
I have been praying daily. Dare I say I have been communicating with God throughout the day? I talk to Him so much now I just say dad most of the time. “Hey dad, what should I do?” “Hey dad, calm my thoughts please.” “Hey dad, guide my day to what you would have happen and help me to take me (ie. my pride) out of it.” It’s been good. I committed myself to 1 week of fervent prayer about my future and it has turned into a full blown, almost all day, conversation with my father in heaven. Well, there is change for you right there. Albeit change I choose each day to invest in and make a new normal. That must be why I am so “on the fence” and not thrust into excitement about JD returning. This is change I didn’t choose. This is a transition I haven’t asked for. This is a happening I hate associating the words change and transition to.
I mean for crying out loud. He is the father to my children and MY HUSBAND. He is an integral part of our lives and has been missed beyond any words I could contrive. So, the only thing left to do is go back to prayer. Dad showed me if I committed to 1 week of fervent prayer that he could turn that into a daily conversation. So, now I begin my prayers for a smooth return of the other half of me. I can’t wait to hold him in my arms. I can’t wait to kiss his face. I really can’t wait for Barrett to run toward him yelling “daddy, daddy, you are home!” I’m ecstatic to see Wynn’s face light up and the coos and sweet baby noises as he sees his daddy’s face in real life and not just on Facetime!
Ok….well just in the short writing of this blog I am excited. I am really over the moon! 6 more days…and I am totally counting the hours and minutes until he is home. Thank you Dad for all the sweet reminders. Next week’s post is gonna be good!!!
I am a Christ follower, a wife, a mother of 3 boys and was an active duty member of the United States Air Force for 8 1/2 year. I medially retired in December 2018 from the Air Force and I know work as a Fitness and yoga instructor, I run the customer service experience for a local swim school and I am a Doula. I am also working on my Master's in social work.