Saturday afternoons are the best! Our southern facing house allowed this amazing light to filter in and outline our 3 year olds face as he slept on the couch. I couldn't help but let my breath be taken away. His little features are just so beautiful. I caught myself starring but really I was admiring. I was admiring the gift that he is to my husband and I. He brings so much joy to our lives. I could never have thought that being his mother would be this fulfilling. It truly is amazing to see what sunlight can highlight or what it brings into focus.
We have been getting the most gorgeous weather the last couple days. We have been able to walk everywhere. We have gotten to see all the beauty the sunlight touches and enhances. What an amazing gift to take in daily. It awakens the soul to the new life blossoming all around. It brings life to all my senses. But it also makes me miss my best friend, my other half, the father to my children, my husband, more than usual. These last few days have been such a wonderful reminder of cherished family time. However, these days have also been an overwhelming reminder of how much that beauty around me is actually enhanced when you have YOUR someone special to share it with.
On Sunday, we set out to explore, soak in all the sunshine and walk till we couldn't walk any further. The boys and I made it just over a mile and half to a bustling outdoor market. We found the most delicious tomatoes. The kind you could literally just take a bite out of. I knew I needed to find some fresh mozzarella and basil. Today was a day for caprese salads!! After finding all we needed I figured it was time to get some food and head back to Lincoln Park to let Barrett run around and give me some much needed sitting time.
We arrived at the park and found a half shaded, half sunny spot to mark as our own. Once we were set up Barrett saw me take my shoes off and he was all too happy to follow suit. I loved seeing my little boy run around barefoot! It wasn't before to long that he became the welcoming party for our section of the park. He'd find other little ones and run over. He'd be so excited to say hello and introduce himself. His sweet demeanor was so refreshing. Uninhibited, Carefree, Friendly. However, it was by the third little family that sat near us that I recognized he was not only running up to the children to play, but he was picking out the dads and trying to get them to play with him.
I think my heart ached a little. Barrett has the most amazing and wonderful dad. But he can't be with us right now. We are just over 2 months into a 4 1/2 month long deployment. I have had some say to me "that's not too long," but in that moment my mind registered what my heart has been saying. "Anytime is to much time!!!" Our little boy misses his daddy, but doesn't have the words to express his sorrow. Frankly, Barrett's expression was anything but sorrow. That's what I felt and what I know my husband felt as he Facetimed with us in the park. Barrett just knew he wanted to play and he wanted to interact with someone like HIS dad. All others fell short and he would come running back to me every time, as I did my best to play in return.
This little boy has reminded me to lead with a friendly, wide-eyed demeanor. Because even in the face of what we all may associate as sorrow or something lacking, that's not what Barrett saw. He stayed ever playful and excited to meet someone new and say hello and then challenge them to respond in kind. Maybe they did and maybe they didn't, but that never phased him.
"Rest assured, daddy can't wait to get home and play with you my sweet boy, but I think you already know that. Love you so much." -Mom
I am a Christ follower, a wife, a mother of 3 boys and was an active duty member of the United States Air Force for 8 1/2 year. I medially retired in December 2018 from the Air Force and I know work as a Fitness and yoga instructor, I run the customer service experience for a local swim school and I am a Doula. I am also working on my Master's in social work.