Respect not Equality

This next blog has been stirring with me for some time.  After a much needed date and some discussion with my husband on this topic last night I think I can write on these thoughts with much more confidence.  However, even as I sit here and delve into it, I feel the nerves cropping up.  You might find it odd that I have started this blog with my feelings about what it means to put words down in an ordered fashion.  However, as I have throught through this topic of Respect not Equality, I have come to realize that although writing comes very naturally to me it can also be a trying task to order your words to convey a message.

So, let me first start with some context.  As a woman, in the corporate work force, and who holds the same title as their husband this idea of equality has quite literally plagued me.  I have taken this idea of equality to mean that the same will be done onto and for me, as to another.  And when this didn't happen it all seemed due to my gender.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I certainly do think that much of the issues that plague "Equality" are found in gender differences; however, after much thought and discussion, I think that the bigger problem lies in the human inability to communicate respect.  

I have often read that women and men just speak different languages.  And anyone who has been in a relationship for any length of time can probably atest to that.  This is where I have drawn so much understanding recently.  The problem with equality being represented in the work force is the inability to communicate and understand how to be show respect from one sex to the other through the verbal words spoken and actions taken.  Unfortunately, men have been in the lead roles for so long that the burden of understanding this grave misstep and correcting it certainly falls on them; however, women are not exempt from coming to terms with this very real societal issue.

Let me caveat for a moment and say that without a shadow of a doubt there is definitely inexcusable behavior and verbal speech that far over reaches the topic of a misunderstanding in communication translated to respect.  However, I do believe that these individuals who have made some seriously ill thought through remarks are a product of a society that has not put emphasis on how to appropriately communicate with each other and across the sexes.  

Suffice it to say I am writing these thoughts down, as it is concerning to me to hear the word equality thrown around and have an unattainable definition characterize it.  Equality = we all have the same positive and negative outcomes regardless of variance in situation.  This definition is just not possible given all the variables of the human circumstance.  However, I do think that we can frame our expectations better when we stop demanding equality and start demanding respect above all else.