Today's post is written with a very heavy heart. Work has gotten worse and I am not sure how much more I can truly bare. I do know one thing for certain, and thats that God has my back. I can turn to Him. I just have to trust that His time is perfect and pray for so much patience.
I'd love to take this time to go into all the details and hardships that face me right now at work. However, this is only because I am pretty fired up and I feel like yelling out all the injustices that I have just been served. It's so wrong and so hard and well I suppose that's all I'll get into.
Instead I am choosing to take this time to focus on the little things. Man am I glad for this blog. What a wonderful reminder for me. So what are those little things I am going to focus on today....
1. The little humans who call me mom :) both of my boys were laying on either side of me this morning and they are just the most precious gift God has ever gifted me. I get to be their mom. Let me say that again I GET to be their mom. Its this fact that keeps me driving forward. That keeps me from dwelling and wallowing. They depend on me. They need me. I have to show up everyday for them.
2. On a more comical and much much smaller note....WHOLE FOODS is finally in my neighborhood! We have been waiting since we moved here for it to open up. And oh man is it glorious! I got some breakfast this morning and even found out they have a full bar and will be doing Happy Hours! Yes please :)
Now for the meat of my post. How God really answers prayers. We don't always like His timing and it sure takes a whole lot of patience but if you can just keep praying and gathering up that strength He does hear you. He will answer.
On Sunday I received a call. I call from my father. We have never had much of a relationship since my parents divorced when I was 7 and distance always put a strain on any growth for us. The last time we spoke on the phone was when my second son Wynn was born last September. But here I am, at a play date for my 3 year old, and my phone rings. It seemed odd, but I picked up. Needless to say, the ensuing conversation was nothing I could ever have expected. The first words out of his mouth were "Thank you. Thank you for what you and JD (my husband) did for your sister, Hannah, the last year and half of her high school years." Hannah had lived with us from 16-18 for many reasons. But the point was that he said Thank You and I could feel his sincerity through the phone. He even went a step further to say "I am so sorry I have been to prideful to say this sooner." Hannah is almost 20.
I think I am still speechless. I have been praying for a sign that my dad even thinks about me. God answers prayers. He truly does. Last night, at about 3am my time 9pm his time, in my despair about work, as I couldn't sleep, I felt God nudging me to reach out to my dad. I simply text "Hey there, how are you?" He respond "Good just getting out of church. You are up late." I told him I had woken up at 1 and couldn't sleep. He responded "Sorry to hear that, anything bothering you?" He asked about me. He showed me kindness. He cared. This is so new to me. Remember I have not really ever had a relationship with him.
I proceeded to tell him that work had been rough and it is certainly compounded with JD being deployed and having to single parent our little ones. He came back with the sweetest note I think I have every received from him "I bet its hard being separated for sure. When I can't sleep I pray. God is teaching me to not worry so much. I have been so focused on business and all the pressure and stress with it. But I can finally say I'm at a place in my life now where I can truly relax. It only took me 50 yrs. Don't worry too much. He is in control. He is very proud of you as I am. Try to sleep now. Love you."
He was so right. God is in control. His response was evidence that God is so real and so good and given prayer, patience, and leading with love anything is possible. Even the resurrection of a father/daughter relationship.
I am a Christ follower, a wife, a mother of 3 boys and was an active duty member of the United States Air Force for 8 1/2 year. I medially retired in December 2018 from the Air Force and I know work as a Fitness and yoga instructor, I run the customer service experience for a local swim school and I am a Doula. I am also working on my Master's in social work.