The title really does say it all. I know I have been spending this last year really trying to live into this sentiment. Finding the beauty in the uncertainty isn't something our worldly culture really embraces. I feel like I constantly find myself in conversations about what's next in my plan for my career or what's next in our plan as a family or how are you already planning what your children should be doing next. It's actually crazy exhausting. To constantly be in this state of planning, like I know what will happen tomorrow. Like I have any control over what will happen. I feel like where I currently stand in life, I could have never known. And while it is certainly not even close to being all bad, there are so many parts I wish were not a part of my life at any point in my life. Sorry to be so vague, but the details are just too numbered.
Needless to say, in this journey of life this past year I have been becoming ever more aware of my need to be dependent on our creator. A friend of mine sent me the best quote today. It said, "The way we deal with uncertainty says a lot about whether Jesus is ahead of us leading, or behind us just carrying our stuff." WOOF!!! Talk about some truth. She then asked me, "any news from work?" To which all I could say was, "No real news. I think God is letting me get comfortable with uncertainty right now."
Isn't it so true though. We come to God when we are hurting or lost or everything has just hit the fan. Then we pray through it and somehow we make it to the other side, with more insight and direction than before. And suddenly we don't need prayer so much and we don't need God so much and then magically I think we say the proverbial "I got this from here God" and we go about our lives making our own plans and leaving our creator completely out of the whole mix. That is until shit hits the fan again.
Ugh!!I I want to break this cycle so bad. So here I am in the midst of it. Having a pretty peaceful day and really just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know it can't possibly stay this calm and then I remember, God brought me through this and he can sustain me. So my daily reminder is to keep praying and turning my thoughts to Him, and what he would have me do next. Because I know, that if I follow His plan the cycle will be broken.
I am a Christ follower, a wife, a mother of 3 boys and was an active duty member of the United States Air Force for 8 1/2 year. I medially retired in December 2018 from the Air Force and I know work as a Fitness and yoga instructor, I run the customer service experience for a local swim school and I am a Doula. I am also working on my Master's in social work.