Character

"We know the law of human nature: acts produce habits, habits breed dispositions, dispositions form the will, and the rightly-formed will is character."-Humility, Andrew Murray

I am telling you...this book Humility is kicking my butt.  I literally think it takes me several minutes to just read one page, so thank goodness it is only a 55 page book.  But WOW!  So much goodness is jumping from the pages.  It's re-energizing my outlook on life.  It's giving me new knowledge to put into action.  It makes me feel so empowered.  My character cannot and is not devastated over any one person. 
Reading the quote above gave me immediate confidence that I am following the law of human nature, even if some around me may be telling me otherwise or are tearing me down.  How often do we let those around us determine what the value of our character really is?  How often do we actually put our character up against the litmus test above?  I know I fall victim to pride far to often.  Which is how we allow others to tell us what our character is; rather than holding firm in what we know and believe to be true about ourselves.  Lets face it, pride is the arch enemy of character.
I bring up pride because this is the driving emotion to caring what others are saying our true value is.  When we look pride in the face and turn away from it we are able to allow ourselves the space to be genuine to the essence of who each of us are inside.  For me, that essence is goodness and love.  That's all I want to share and be shared.  Let me concentrate on my goodness and love.  Let me drop pride off at the door.  Let me focus my energy on what God has called me to do.  Humble myself before Him and all.  And He will take care of the rest.
Boy! What a difficult task.  FAITH...that's what it's called.  Trusting. Truly Believing you are cared for.  We have all gone and got ourselves into a big frenzy planning all the pieces of our life and somehow think we are in control.  Now, don't get me wrong.  We still have choices and moves to make, but when you are leading with the good, right, and loving choices you can rest assured that God will and is taking care of the rest.  

My step-dad told me a long time ago that character is all we each really have.  I have never forgotten this statement.  I have such respect for these words he said.  I am certain this is why the quote above resinated so much.  We have recently spent the better part of the last 3 years not talking or having a relationship of any kind.  But in the last week he reached out to me.  Albeit it be through text, he reached out in a big way.  He hasn't stopped texting in over a week.  Everyday he tells me he loves me with a gentle reminder to have a great day.  We haven't spoken in years and I get the beautiful reminder from him everyday to have a good day and he loves me.  AMAZING is the only word that even comes close to describing this shift.  My heart has been bursting with gratefulness.  Of course there is much work to still be done in our relationship. But what an AMAZING start.  Both my dads want a relationship with me.  They missed me.  They LOVE me.  It's been a big last month.  And I am so excited for what is to come.  I am so thankful my character has weathered all the lost time.  I have trusted in God to prepare my heart.  And now I get to welcome them both into my life with open arms. 
Sending lots of love to all of you!  May you always seek, find and hold onto the little things in this life :)
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