What is normal? The dictionary defines it as:
conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected; the usual, average, or typical state or condition.
Man, normal sounds super boring. It certainly doesn't sound like anything I really want to associate my day to day life with. But somehow there is comfort in normal. So, undoubtably we all flock to it. Whether knowingly or unknowingly. We want normal in our lives. We want predictability. We want these things so we can have control....over what is coming next. Over the future.
But why be so preoccupied with our future? Well that's an easy one. The future holds promise for bigger, better and more. HAHA!! That's a funny one. We get all preoccupied with future yet we are so unwilling to change (ie. let go of control) when we get comfortable that the future never comes and we get stuck. It's a vicious cycle.
Luckily or maybe unlucky for me the military doesn't really allow you the luxury of stagnation. I suppose I shouldn't even classify stagnation as a luxury when I just got done saying that the last thing I want is to be "normal." I currently find myself in the midst of finding a new normal. It's been a crazy last couple months, and we are at the tail end of my husband being deployed. I can't really say anything has been normal about the last couple months. SO maybe I would give anything for boring right now.
Oh I just don't know. I am a big jumble I feel. Life is so abnormal right now. And it's forced me in so many uncomfortable directions, and unbelievably I have done some amazing growing. I am reaching out into worlds I never thought I would or could! I am constantly being challenged and those challenges have brought me to my core. I have been broken down and am rebuilding. So everyday is finding a new normal. There is really no such thing as normal in my house. It's tough sometimes, but mostly it's good.
You just have to know when you need to ask for help. I have learned more in these last few months that we need God so much! He really can provide for everything. He is the ultimate fulfiller. He provides you with those that you need when you need them.
I recently reached out to my in laws, at the slight recommendation of a coworker. I almost didn't say anything when I called them just 5 nights ago, about how much I need family right now, but finally I spoke up. It took setting my pride aside and crying a little, but the next day I had an email in my inbox with the flight itinerary of my mother in law. She will be here tomorrow for 5 days. Such a welcomed visit. You see my husband is supposed to come home from deployment in June, but we don't know when in June. It could be the first weekend or it could be the very last day. Frustrating doesn't even come close to explaining where my head is at most of the time. Plus our 3 year old is simply over having his daddy gone. Literally tears my heart out every time he asks for dad.
So here is to remembering that the little things are sometimes the hardest things to appreciate when the big things are all out of whack and definitely not normal. Here's to reminding myself, and maybe a few of you, that normal is good but that it's also so necessary to depart from to grow in ways we never thought we could.
I am a Christ follower, a wife, a mother of 3 boys and was an active duty member of the United States Air Force for 8 1/2 year. I medially retired in December 2018 from the Air Force and I know work as a Fitness and yoga instructor, I run the customer service experience for a local swim school and I am a Doula. I am also working on my Master's in social work.